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AN INDUSTRY DICTIONARY
This list includes vague and ambiguous comments made by A&R,
producers, publishers, managers and bookers. As strange as
some may seem, all of these statements were, in fact, uttered
by industry.
We discovered
four categories that most vague comments fit into:
1. Comments that
mean “No, I pass” without really saying so.
2. Comments that
are ambiguous. With these statements, additional
questions are necessary.
3. Comments that
imply an affirmative and positive reaction.
4. Comments that
are just plain funny.
|
STATEMENT |
MEANING |
| |
|
| "..." |
“NO, I
PASS” |
|
We just signed two
acts, otherwise we’d sign you |
Go somewhere else |
|
The vocals were
great |
But, the band
and/or songs suck |
|
The lead singer is
a real star |
The rest of the
act needs work |
|
It’s a little
loud |
You’re awful |
|
What a great
performance |
Too bad the songs
are weak |
|
It needs some
polishing |
Change everything |
|
Come back in 6
months |
Leave me alone |
|
It shows promise |
Right now, however, it blows |
|
I like it, but I’m
not in love with it |
No way |
|
I’d like some
input |
I want total
control |
|
Try to punch it up
a bit |
I have no idea
what I want |
|
You’re like a poor man's Coldplay
|
I never actually listened to the CD |
|
We love it, but
don’t know what to do with it |
You appeal to that
elusive adult audience |
|
That’s the best
I’ve heard since we signed (known act),
but they never sold any records |
Sorry, but no cigar |
|
I’m sure there’s
an audience for it |
But, I’m not going
to look for them |
|
Well, I hear three
possible hits, but I need to hear five |
I’m letting you
down easy |
|
It's pretty good, but we need to go
through some of the songs |
I want co-writing credits |
|
You should try to
be more like (fill in the blank) |
You’ll never make
it |
|
You have a
pleasant sound |
You’re boring |
|
It’s not my cup of tea |
You wasted my time |
|
It’s not for me |
I don’t get it |
|
I know just who to
give this to |
Now get out of my
life |
|
If I like it I’ll
get back to you |
Don’t call me
anymore |
|
I love it, but do
I love it enough to spend one million dollars
|
You’re not worth
it |
|
“MAYBE, YOU
NEVER KNOW”
|
|
I want to play it for more
people |
You have a chance |
|
Let me live with this for a
week |
If I still like it – we’ll
talk |
|
Let me hear it again |
That was actually good |
|
Let me hear more songs |
They can’t all be this good |
|
You’re this close (fingers
almost touching) |
You’ve got a shot |
|
“ABSOLUTELY, I LOVE YOU”
|
|
Please call me – right away |
We have to talk |
|
Who else have you talked to
|
I want this for myself |
|
Do you have any outstanding
agreements |
Let’s get rid of everyone else |
|
Have your attorney contact
business affairs |
We’ve got a deal |
|
I have a check with your name
on it |
Let’s start work |
| |
|
|
“JUST PLAIN FUNNY”
|
|
|
I listen to every CD |
A&R will burn in hell for this
lie |
|
I’m looking for something
unique and original |
I want an act like the one
that’s selling millions of records |
|
Where are you playing? I’ll
come down and check you out |
Don’t hold your breath |
|
You can trust me |
You must be new to LA |
|
It's a standard contract
|
He He He…Bend over |
|
We need to build
your "story" |
You need more sex
appeal |
|
You should come by
the studio sometime |
I want to get to
“know you better” |
|
You’re great, I’d love to help you out |
What’s your
budget |
|
I can make you sound ten times better |
How much money do you have |
|
I love you – I can give you a Sunday
night |
Just sell 50 tickets at $10 each |
| |
|
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By: Bernard Baur
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